Dear New Momma,
For at least the new two years, probably more, you will have very little control over your life. It starts with labor -- you can't plan it (I know, it killed me too!), you can't tell that little one how or when to come, and you can't control how the labor will go. All you can do is relax, let go, breathe, and realize you have to give it up to the people that know best...the nurses, your doctor, God.
After the baby is here, you will have zero control over your life because that itty bitty patootie will rule. your. world. You will feel exhaustion like you've never known. You will want to give your right arm for a few straight hours of sleep. You will have to plan to leave the house well ahead of time. And when you do leave the house, it will be 30 minutes later than you had planned.
Speaking of sleep, even the best sleepers (ours slept through at FIVE weeks) will drive you absolutely mad at times. They will sleep three hours at a time for a few nights...sleep for six one night...you will get on your knees thanking God...and then that next night they will will wake up every two. It is a bit maddening. There are also nights when they just don't want to sleep, thank you very much. They would rather just lay there staring at you, thank you again.
Because of this, there may be times you will look at your child at 3 a.m., begging him to PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP. You may not even like him much at those moments. YES -- I said it, there are times you just are not nuts about them for being itty bitty and helpless and ruling your world (at 3 a.m. nonetheless).
And then that moment passes, and in the middle of the night, you will look at your baby's sweet eyes in the dark, rub his tiny head and you may just cry because you are so incredibly blessed to have this child. To be rocking this child at 3 a.m. You will realize there is no place you would rather be, ever.
You will be overwhelmed at how people love your baby. Yes, you know your friends love you. But you will realize you didn't have a clue how much they love you until you see the way they love your child. You will realize how much you mean to the people around you, because of the way they love your baby. It will overwhelm you, the love you will feel in those first weeks.
A few weeks after that sweet bubby is born, you will start needing a little somethin'. Just a little -- a little something in return for all that feeding, loving, feeding, smooching. And then. THEN, your child will smile at you. YOUR CHILD. He will smile at you like you are the sun and the moon and the stars and it will be one of the best moments of your entire life.
You will spend the rest of your days trying to get your child to smile at you like that again.
One of the biggest changes I noticed after our son was born was the new "weight" of being a Mom. It's the best way I can explain it. It's like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, in a good way. You now have a life to look after, and that is a really big deal. Sometimes that weight is really noticeable. You will feel it all the time -- but mostly when you leave the baby with Daddy for an hour. Or with Grandma for an evening so you can go out with friends.
From the day that baby is born, you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS thinking about them, worrying about them, wondering about them. You may not realize it, but it's always there. That weight lessens as they get older, but it's only because you get used to it. You are now a Mommy, and that comes with so much wonderful responsibility.
Your life is about to change for the better. You will never be the same. You will come back and read this a few months from now and have a whole new appreciation for these words. And when someone you love has their first baby, you will try to express to them the crazy, indescribable love they are about to feel, and you won't be able to put it into words for them either.
And here is my little God-send, with a mouth full of teeth and peanut butter all over her lips.
1 comment:
Oh Laurie...that was one of the most moving things I have ever read. It brought me to tears as I completely connected with every thing that letter had to share. Being a mommy, is truly, a life-changing and rewarding job. We are so blessed.
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